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Freaking Tacos


Today was a harder day. I woke up with the worst headache and of course, it being Saturday, we had so many errands to run. We woke up early (earlier than we normally do on weekends) and got going right away. Big mistake. I should have stopped to get something to eat because my head was pounding by 10:00.

By about 12, I could barely keep my head up and I was trying to sleep in the car because I felt like we were on a rollercoaster.

Fast forward and my husband and I go to a restaurant for lunch. FINALLY! Tacos, perfect right? I get my order in, so excited for a steaming plate of chicken tacos… and the minute the waitress sets them down, I feel my stomach turning. I can barely look at the freaking tacos without feeling like I was going to puke right on the table. Across me sits my husband, happily eating his enchiladas (which by the way are even more repulsive looking than my tacos.) And I think he’s even a little annoyed with me not eating my food. He does not get it.

So my question is: is this normal? Or is this all in my head? I’ve been doing research, a lot of research, on morning sickness and the first trimester, and it seems a couple of weeks too early for that. Now I’m left wondering if I read so much about it that I’m just making myself feel sick about food, like a placebo, except not a positive feeling. Also, if I feel worse later into this trimester than I felt this morning, I’m in for it soon.

UPDATE: It’s 10:22 PM, and I finally ate the freaking tacos.


Had to do it.


Had to tell someone. So I told one of my co-worker friends whom I trust. I know, I didn’t tell any family yet, but it’s too early. Right? It doesn’t feel right to tell family yet, plus this is news that needs to be delivered in person.

We cried, like ugly cried, together this morning. Telling her was a good decision, she gets me and also why I can’t tell other people.

She hugged me, and reassured me. She congratulated me.

Here’s the thing, having someone congratulate you is so weird. When I hung up with my doctors office on Wednesday, the receptionist congratulated me, and I barely even noticed. My friend congratulated me today, and I started crying. Cue the pregnancy emotions… who am I kidding? I’m just always emotional.

Today, telling someone and having her congratulate me, it felt real. Like for real, for real.


New Normal


Today I had my first real taste of my “new normal.” … I’m sure the first of many.

This is one that I’ve been worried about since, well, the last two days. Drinking events. Now that it’s getting close to summer, there are weddings, end of the year parties, etc. First of all, let me just clarify by saying that I’m 28 and not going out and getting crazy, but I would say I’m a social drinker. Not that it would be abnormal to go out and just get a soft drink, but I immediately worry that someone will question me… and I can’t keep secrets very well.

Anyways, we had a work gathering tonight and it was my first one where everyone ordered a beer (it really was a good Happy Hour deal) and I ordered… a Sprite. And it tasted good. No weird looks or raised eyebrows. Phew!

To be honest, I’m glad that I jumped this hurdle and I’m ready for more to come!

Cheers, friends!

Day Two


Day 2 being pregnant, and I literally walked around all day like I was hiding a big secret from everyone. Does anyone else feel like that during your first trimester? Like you want to tell close family and friends, but also know it’s too early to say anything quite yet…

Also, learned today that you indeed do not have to go and get a pregnancy test done at your OBGYN after you’ve taken home tests. I called to schedule an appointment, and they told me that if I took 2 home tests, they would just do the same there. So that’s one less thing to do I guess? Instead I got signed up for a Prenatal Class and a 10 week appointment. I literally cannot think that far out and adding those dates to my calendar was surreal.

SIDENOTE: Is it not absolutely wild that once you’ve actually missed your period, you’re already about 4 weeks pregnant? What?

Anyways, I currently have a splitting headache. I’m not sure if that’s pregnancy related, job related, or just random. Either way, this FirstTimeMama is heading to bed.



Today I took two pregnancy tests, they both said “YES +”.

I suppose I kind of knew for at least a few days. My cycle was supposed to happen on Sunday, and by today, Tuesday, it still hadn’t come. My cycle is regular, I mean regular. It’s literally never late or off, but I figured I’d give it a day or two, just in case. Sure enough, it still didn’t come… so after I got off work today, I went with my husband and bought a box of pregnancy tests. He was calm, I was not.

I came home and went to test right away, I came downstairs and waited for legitimately the longest 3 minutes ever. We went up together and sure enough it said “YES +”. Cue the waterworks. Happy tears with a mix of every other emotion possible. Again, husband is a champ, wife… not so much. Let me clarify, I am so excited. Seriously! I’ve wanted to be a mom for such a long time, and I can’t wait to be one. BUT, as exciting as it is, it is equally scary. Every thought flows into your mind: Will everything work out okay? Will my husband still love me? Will our parents be happy? Will I be a good mom? We will be financially okay? … You get the picture. All I needed in that moment was my husband, and another look at that test. Deep breath. Okay.

No matter what the answers to those questions, or any others that will come, I know that this is exactly what was meant to happen, at the exact time it was supposed to happen, and that’s okay with me.